I totally agree that when I first lost my sight I did judge people. I didn’t look beyond their disability because I wasn’t able to look beyond my own. As I started to connect with more disabled people online it started to make me want to associate with the disabled community because it was so normal! I felt like such a disabled alien for so long it was so refreshing to find normal and average people just going about their lives who happen to have a disability. The more blogs I read the more normal I felt and the more acceptance I had for myself and others. For so long I felt utterly trapped in my own head with my thoughts but there were people out there who could articulate them and I enjoyed reading what they had to say.
I started to immerse myself in a different world.. I let myself accept that I was different. I began to be proud of my disability. It was as if I had let myself breathe after four years. I was the only one burdening myself with the stereotypes of blindness. I was the one telling myself I couldn’t do things when in fact I could. I was my own arch enemy. I still do fight with myself some days to just let myself be. The little devil Lucy sitting on my shoulder reminds me what could have been if I hadn’t lost my vision that one bleak day in March but I fight it. What would be the alternative if I didn’t? I am the person I am today. If I woke up every morning wishing for something different what would be the point of the life I am living now? If you are reading this and have ever felt the same just remember – life is what you make it. The brain is such a powerful thing and you may find yourself facing some dark times but you will make it through. Self acceptance is key to your happiness. You have to love yourself. I know it sounds cheesy and it is probably the last thing you want to do. I know I am a random blind girl on the internet telling you what has worked for me but honestly please look inside yourself and think of all of the great things. Look inside and learn to love your disability. Yes – I am telling your to love the one thing that has made your life turn upside-down. I am telling you to love something that causes you pain and has maybe torn your life in half but if you don’t love yourself you will never be ok.
I am different now and I always will be. Fern I think it is important to have friends that live the same reality as I crave the understanding of those who are in the same situation. but I also find value in my friends that have no clue about living with a disability. If I didn’t have different friends that reflected the other great things in my life I don’t think I would see the world in the same way. They give me valuable perspectives that I wouldn’t have. Everyone is different and no one is perfect and I love that.
Join the conversation! We would love to know what you think. Use #letterstoablindgirl and see Ferns reply on her blog http://withlovefromfern.tumblr.com
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